Believe in Yourself

"Believe in yourself" is a pretty common statement of encouragement. When you're feeling down or uncertain of a challenge in front of you, these words can often be heard from a friend or maybe a parent. When you think of the times that you have needed a boost, hearing this statement is a great way to get yourself to reach deep down inside and find the energy you need to go that extra step, or climb to heights that you didn't believe you could.

But, what is it that causes us to doubt ourselves at all? I mean, haven't you known yourself all your life? You've seen the heights that you know you can reach, yet doubt still seeps into your mind, no matter how talented or experienced you are. You think that this is something that you will grow out of or can overcome with practice, but no matter your expertise, the self-doubt still looms. I'm just about 58 and have learned a lot over my years, but I still find myself laced with uncertainty, beating myself up over one thing or another. Why? Especially when I know that it's something that I can get myself through because I've done it many times before!

I've found that it's often not so much me, but where I am and who is with me that determines how I'll respond to one challenge or another. Even if I know that I'm fully capable of getting something done, I will question my ability depending on who is there to support me or who I'm doing this thing for. I'll turn on myself and distrust my own abilities to accomplish what I have proven I can do time and time again.

It really is amazing how important other people are to our own self-worth, isn't it? They are like mirrors to ourselves that can shine light or cast darkness.  I suppose that I could say that there was something that happened in my childhood that lead me to this behavior as an adult, but I am an adult! I've moved past those uncertain times and have carried myself through my life making my own decisions and proving my own value, right?  I should be able to be bullet proof to the expectations of others, but no matter how I try, it doesn’t work. It shows that the ties between us all can’t be denied. We can pull and tug on these connections, and try to stretch them as far as possible, but we are all linked (to read an interesting article on these “cords”, go to the website HERE).

So, what can we do about this web of connections that we live in, and the emotional and physical impact that they can have on us? I see three options: 1) honor them, 2) repair them, or 3) sever them.

 When you honor the connection, you own everything about it. You agree with the form that the energy has and any benefit or detriment it has on each person, and you accept the direction the relationship takes. But if you feel that the tie you have to another person isn’t healthy, or is outdated, yet it is valuable to you, you can only repair it by being open and honest with the other person about how you feel. The healing of the bond that you have will only come from the work that you both do to make it right.

 If you find yourself in a place where the energetic bond that you have with another person is doing you harm and has poisoned your perception of yourself or the other person, no matter how you have tried to fix it, true healing can only come from cutting the connection and going your separate ways.

We all have a light that we are meant to bring to this world. But, it’s a world that we share with others we are emotionally and energetically bound to. Believing in yourself is really believing in your place in this web of connections and the value that you bring to all, not just yourself. You’ll know that you are being called to represent the ties you have to others through the encouragement and direction you receive from them. So, the next time that someone says to “believe in yourself” you can know that you aren’t just being told. You are being asked.