The Professors

When I was diagnosed with my brain tumor and knew that I had surgery, radiation, and many other challenges in front of me, I unabashedly sought prayer from all those that knew and loved me. I knew that I had a mighty battle in front of me and I needed all of the strength that I could muster.

I used to work for a woman who was a born-again Christian. She had had a difficult life through her teens and twenties, and she decided to give herself to God to find salvation from all that she had done. She was renowned in the industry that I worked in as being a person who was very difficult to work with – mean and nasty. I have known people of faith like that who are so determined to succeed for God that they lose track of their environment and the people that occupy it with them.

I decided to take a chance and work for her. Her company focused on fundraising for the Christian market, and I knew that was something that would interest me. She and I made a good team when working with clients and helping them with their goals. I came to believe that she was a soldier of God, dutifully working for Him here on earth. When I was diagnosed with my tumor, she and others prayed over me before my surgery. She spread the word of my need for prayer all over the world (literally) and between the people that she contacted and my family, I had a chorus of prayer claiming my victory over my illness.

My surgery was a longer procedure than even the surgeons expected. It took 8 hours for my neurosurgeon to remove as much of the tumor as he could without touching my optic nerve or a major artery running through my brain. All in all, the surgery was a success but my recovery would be long; much longer than I expected.

When I was able to go home, I was not capable of doing much more than sitting and sleeping. I never knew such a feeling of helplessness in my adult life. Soon after I got home, I started to get a bad feeling about my work. Shortly before I became sick my boss and her husband (her business partner at the time) decided to eliminate any short or long-term disability for the employees – to save money. I didn’t think of it at the time and went on with my work, though I was having painful headaches and problems with my vision. I figured that they were migraines from a stressful job. Obviously it was not that.

Shortly after I got home from the hospital, my boss and her husband fired me because they couldn’t afford to keep me on if I wasn’t working. I was left unable to work, or to look for a job, and barely able to move for that matter! Soon she started blaming me for not saving a piece of business that she had ruined before I left, saying that the reclaiming of the business would have saved my job.

I was devastated. Not even so much by being placed in a position of not being able to pay my bills, but more by the betrayal by someone that I thought was a good and decent person. I had been lured into her company and then discarded when I was no longer considered worth keeping. It was a horrible feeling to have someone who professed to be a woman of God be so hollow inside, and bereft of morals and feelings.

I felt this pain of betrayal for years. In my desperation, I ended up going back to work for her after I recovered and she could afford to hire me again. After a year or so another company bought her company and I was promoted to work for the parent company, but I still worked on new business with her. After a while we sold two large accounts. I was thrilled because the commission payments that I got from this new business helped my wife and me to start paying down some of the debt we had accumulated while I was sick and out of work.

Well, these “good times” lasted for only six months. She had mismanaged both of these accounts and they both fired my company. She however refused to take any blame for this. She blamed all of the poor management on the president of my company and me, hoping to convince these companies to stay with her. Long story shot, the companies that used to be my clients both went with her when she started another company, after my company closed her company. Her mismanagement caused five people to lose their jobs, and caused me to lose 60% of my income.

I couldn’t understand why God would allow me to be hurt by her again and again. It wasn’t until I spoke with my mentor that I finally understood His reasoning. God knows that I love and have loved Him through everything that I have gone through in my life. I have always asked Him what He intends for me to do and be in my life, on my journey. My mentor told me that God intentionally placed me with this woman. He wanted me to experience first hand a professor, not a doer of faith. He wanted me to understand everything about what a professor of faith looks like. He wanted me to experience that hollow soul first hand for one reason – so that I could tell this story.

So, beware the professor! If you love God, stay away from people who profess their love of God with their words, and betray this love with their actions. The professors are scattered among us, serving themselves more than the Lord. Keep your wits about you always and stay clear of those who aim to do you harm. Keep close to our God. He will show you who can and can’t be trusted.

There's Really Only One Word

Winter snuck up on me this year. I think it was because we took a trip to Italy this fall, and it scrambled up my fix on the seasons. I keep thinking that it's early fall, but in reality we are just days away from Thanksgiving. That's not early fall anymore!

The way that I really know that it is approaching Thanksgiving and Christmas is that I begin to feel a sense of gratitude in the air. It's distinctly different than the exhilaration of summer, when we are filled with adventure and celebration of the warmth and lazy pace of life. It isn't like the stale feelings of the winter doldrums that we feel in January and February either. It's really just a deep appreciation - peaceful and happy.

At Thanksgiving, we all focus on what we are grateful for. At Christmas we enjoy the company of family and friends and celebrate a holiday filled with cheer and merriment. But when you think about what we are really doing this time of year, there's really only one answer. We are loving.

I challenge you to think differently! We gather with our families because we love them. We celebrate the joys of Christmas and give gifts as a statement of love. We pray to our Lord Jesus because we love Him.

Jesus is the model for love. He is the definition of love. More so, He is love. You know John 3:16, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

How can we even relate to the depth of that love? Could we give up our only child for love? Our Lord did. Why? Because He is in love with us. Little us! How can we ever return that love? By loving each other. That's what that feeling is this time of year. It's like falling in love all over again.

My wife's family and I all say "I love you" every time we speak. God says that to all of us every day in how he surrounds us with beauty, family, food, fortune and friends. All that you have to do to thank Him for all these blessings is to love Him back. God is love. We are formed in God's image, so we are love. Pass it around!

Busy, Busy, Busy!

I only have a few minutes to write this post. You see, I'm in the middle of a big project right now that is demanding all of my time and I can spend much time away from it.

Does my situation sound familiar to you? Well, I found a quick fix that you might like.

I was driving home last night and I found myself using some very easy and effective relaxation techniques that work really well when you are up against a deadline and are getting stressed about it. The interesting part of it is that sometimes you don't realize you are stressed out until you get a headache, or your neck hurts, sometimes even your hands can start hurting is you are a person that clenches their hands.

I wrote an entry at the end of last month called "Paying Attention". In it I talked about going to your breath to find calm. If you think about your breath when you are in the middle of a stressful situation, you're apt to find that you are breathing shallow or halted breaths. Just this alone can make a stressful situation worse. Try the process that I describe below. You can do it anywhere - at a desk, while you're driving, walking, washing dishes. Anything.

Breathe through your nose for 15 seconds and focus on your breath. With your mouth closed, separate your top and bottom teeth and let your bottom jaw drop open. You'll find that this automatically opens your nasal passages more. You will take three deep breaths using some visualization techniques. Imagine that the air that you take in is cool and rich with oxygen. Think of it as a precious resource that you want to savor.

First, breathe the air deep into your abdomen, and then into your lungs until you can't breathe any deeper. Don't hold your breath. Let the air out through your mouth and imagine that this air is carrying a mist of stress out of your body and away from you. Repeat this twice to total three breaths.

In the thick of a pressured situation, this quick practice can help you to relax and get a fresh perspective.

Now, back to work!

Footprints

When you think about someone who you consider successful, what is the first thing that comes to mind? Is it a person who started a company and grew it to be a source of income for years? Or, is it a person that helped their children to grow to be successful and happy? Or, is it someone who helped a community to thrive, while sacrificing any gain for themselves?

There is no one way to be successful. We all leave footprints, it's just a choice between leaving footprints that are a positive path to follow, or using your feet to step on others as you selfishly make your way toward your goals. How can we tell the difference? It's sometimes hard to see.

A business leader who is known for their brutal management style may be looked upon as a bad person by their colleagues. but the reason that they behave the way they do at work is so they can make sure, as a single parent, their children have a shot at success themselves. Someone who appears shy and withdrawn may be considered an underachiever, but in fact is a brilliant thinker who doesn't always know what to say in a conversation.

We all leave footprints, it's just a choice between leaving footprints that are a positive path to follow, or using your feet to step on others...

It really comes down to how any person can answer this question - am I on God's path or am I on the Enemy's path? We can answer that question for ourselves because God is in each one of us, in the same way the Enemy is constantly challenging us. What is true is that the less we focus on God, the more vulnerable we are to the influences of the Enemy, to the point where we are consumed by him and walk mindlessly on his path.

If you are a stern person that is perceived as mean and unapproachable, that's OK if you have God in your heart and you are building a positive foundation for those that follow you. But, if you are angry and withdrawn because you have let your faith go and the Enemy occupies your soul, then you are no good to anyone because all you will leave behind is a trail of poison. 

As you read this, what is your heart telling you? Have you cultivated your faith to the point that it illuminates your path, or have you lost your way? If you allow yourself to think deeply about this, you will either find yourself in prayer, or you will see an empty hole in front of you. The weaker your faith, the bigger the hole. What good it that to anyone, including yourself?

No matter where you are in your life, it is never too late to build a lasting, positive legacy. Just ask Him how to start.

The Craftsman

My father-in-law plays a vintage accordian. Over the years, the instrument had gotten a bit out of tune, with squeaks here and there when there should have been silence, or a more pleasing sound.

I am embaressed to say it but we said at least 5 years ago that we would get the accordian repaired, but we made the mistake of putting it in a closet and sadly it was forgotten. I know that my wife's father is too sweet to remind us that we had been hanging on to his accordian forever, so the poor thing sat in the darkness for years. Until two days ago when I saw someone playing the accordian and remembered that we had it.

I got online and found the Accordian Connection in New Hampshire that has testimonials from people all over the country. The shop was 1 1/2 hours from where we live, but I had a feeling that it would be worth the trip. We left this afternoon and got there at around 3pm. The shop was empty when we got inside. We were surrounded by vintage accordiams on one side and new ones on the other. There we pictures everywhere of accordian virtuosos. We knew that we were in the right place!

Arthur Welch has run the Accordian Connection since 1957 when he graduated from high school, and when he came into the showroom to greet us, I had a good feeling we were in for a treat. He looked over the accordian and told us what he thought, stuck keys, out of tune reeds. He shook his head in the way that only a true professional can. We knew that even though the bill might be a big one that he would take care of us.

While we were there, he told us stories about accordians that he had repaired, people that he had met, places that he had played. While I listened to him I started realizing I was talking with a person who had done one thing, with one business for 54 years! All of a sudden I found myself in awe of him. He was the best at what he did. He took orders from all over the world, including Iceland!

In so many ways I wished that I had the understanding of what I wanted to do for my career at such a young age. But, that wasn't the path that God set me on. He needed me to walk a more complicated path. One that has caused many bumps and bruises, but at the same time one with loads of experiences from many different places.

How can you know what's best for you? Will you settle into a career that you will retire from, or set out on a professional journey that will take you here, there and everywhere? No matter what happens, when you have been at it for 54 years, you'll be able to tell wonderful stories that make those that you are with smile and walk away happier than they were before they met you. So, keep at it!

Building Memories

What do you get out of your life?

Now there's a loaded question! That's why I left it up there on its own line. Living is a sum of days, of hours and minutes. So, maybe I should say, what so you get out of every day, every hour, every minute? If you're part of the go, go, go culture like I am, you're probably freaking out right now! You're asking youself "how can I get the most of every minute of every day"?

Well, that's not the point.

If we run around and do stuff all the time, what happens? We miss the things that add meaning to our lives! Think about it. What do you treasure most in your memory? Is it pushing through a day, or is it the times when you have stopped and looked at what is right in front of you?

I'll give you some examples from my own life. See if you can think of some of your own. Listening to one of my sons talk. Looking at my wife's beautiful smile. Watching my beagle chase after a squirrel. Seeing the trees sway with the wind. Did some images pop into your mind of times like these that you have had? Think of what you were doing at the time. You were allowing yourself to slow down, even for a moment, to make a wonderful memory.

I love talking to my parents because now in their senior years, much of what they like to talk about are memories. Times with us kids, time with friends. Now, if you think about it, many of those memories came from fleeting experiences - 60 years ago! What will your bank of memories be? If we don't pay attention, we won't have much of a bank at all.

I'm not saying that we need to go on vacation to have these things happen, though vacation is nice! We just need to live every day mindfully. "Stop and smell the roses"! You've heard that saying all your life, but I'm say yes - STOP, and smell the roses! Build in a way to pause for moments throughout your day and allow yourself to just "be". Let you mind be like a sponge and take in the beauty that is all around you. Even in the middle of an office or a parking lot, you will find beauty. Honestly.

I follow a great blog called DailyOM. They had a good one today that was the inspiration for this story. Check it out here: http://www.dailyom.com/articles/2011/30826.html. You can find the poem  Take Time to ... by Jeanette Cooper on it's own page on this site.

Seeing Life’s Miracles

My wife and I live in a small town not far outside of Boston. The other day I was thinking back to a cool day at the end of May, but everything was in bloom, the lawns were a beautiful green, and everyone had a smile on their face. And why not? The land was coming alive, and so were we weary New Englanders after a too-long and too-cold winter. I knew that many in the northern parts of the country were still in the waning days of the winter doldrums, but they were the waning days! Soon the hearty people of North Dakota, Minnesota and Wisconsin enjoyed their spring too.

Now that winter is again pressing forward in New England, I look forward to another change in the seasons, and all of the joy it brings with family and faith.

Something that I have come to realize from meeting people all over this beautiful country is that we all are grateful for what we have for the most part – some more than others. Certainly there is plenty to complain about within our day to day lives: the driveway needs to be plowed; the lawn needs to be mowed; the garden needs to be weeded. But, if I allow myself to be in the moment of the snowstorm, or of the tall grass, I can still see the miracles that God brings to all of us every day.

God’s intention for us is to inspire us to do the very best that we can for Him every day. Many of you will look at this statement and think that it’s not true. Some will question and say, “If God’s will is for His people to thrive, then why did He flood my fields and distroy my crops?”, or “Why did He give me so much debt?” In reality, He didn’t do any of that to any one of us. His interest is in our success and in our salvation. Why would He do these things to us?

Many of you may disagree with me on this point. That’s OK, and I’d like to hear your thoughts. God has worked hard to make us responsible in His Word. He wants us to go forth, multiply, and take dominion over this earth and the animals that occupy it with us. But we have decided to walk away from His path and form our own way. Sadly, many of these choices have been poorly planned and not well mapped. When we start believing that our human ways are fine on their own, without God’s careful guidance, we can get ourselves into trouble. Sometimes big trouble.

Yes, there are bound to be floods when we build farms and houses close to rivers, knowing that we are taking a chance that the river may rise and distroy our property. Also, God didn’t give us credit cards and tell us to spend beyond our means. We chose to do that.

What I’m trying to say is that these are human problems, not God problems. Certainly there are those of us that are well-meaning in all that we do and bad things happen to us. I know this feeling myself. Five years ago I was diagnosed with a brain tumor, had a difficult surgery and two follow-up surgeries, lost part of my eyesight and all of my pituitary functioning. I have to take all kinds of pills and injections for the rest of my life, but I never blamed God. I pleaded to him sometimes, but never blamed Him. If anything, it taught me to look for life’s miracles and celebrate then as much as I can.

So, when you set out to blame our Lord for something in your life, just stop for a bit and think – why then would Jesus have died for us and our sins on the cross? God has a passionate love for us – greater than any love. It is not His will for us to suffer in any way.

As you work through something that has ruined you, or crippled you, look still for your purpose and your blessing and continue to serve Him. We are in His image. Be wounded and strong. See beauty in all that surrounds us.